FREE ESSAY ON A WOMANS SELF ESTEEM

A WOMANS SELF ESTEEM

A womans self esteem 2000-07-04 
Nathaniel Branden's A Women's Self-Esteem gives an inside view to helping women improve
their self-esteem and begin to live a healthier, happier life. Self-esteem is the ability
to experience ourselves as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and
to be capable of seeking happiness. It consists of two components: self-efficacy, or the
ability to chose, learn, think and make appropriate decisions, and self-respect, the
right to be blissful, the belief that achieving, making friends, succeeding, loving and
fulfillment are deserving for us. Self-esteem is essential to all humans to have healthy
development. If one lacks a positive self-esteem, psychological growth would be
staggered. Branden describes a woman's self-esteem as a building of six pillars; without
any one pillar the whole building would collapse. The pillars include each of the
following: living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assurance,
living purposefully, and living with integrity. Each matter is discussed in detail, and
personal stories are narrated to give evidence of unique case studies in which these
topics are found. In the conclusion of each explanation of the topic, Branden includes a
sentence completion exercise in which sentence stems are given and the reader is directed
to quickly respond by adding an ending to each stem. This exercise is an excellent method
of thought processes and is terrific for releasing one's ideas through writing. The work
later depicts special circumstances in which self-esteem plays a key role. These
exceptional issues include: romantic love, the fear of selfishness, jealousy, expressing
anger, defensiveness, and success anxiety. Each subject is covered specifically and these
chapters also comprise of case studies and additional sentence completion exercises.
Branden consoles the reader by assuring her or him that although one may often feel
guilty for these feelings, they are normal, and without them one would become ruthless in
their own happiness. This area of the book, if appreciated, is clustered with many
valuable, lifelong lessons and instructions. Branden then goes on to enlighten the reader
with empowering strategies to aid in unraveling the mysteries behind some of these
exceptional issues, which one may be able to apply to their own life. The conclusion
leaves the reader with a sincere desire to strive to perfect his or her self-esteem.
Rather honestly, I found Branden's contemplation of a woman's self-esteem to be somewhat
bothersome at first. I found it difficult to read a work intended for a female audience
yet written by a male. Although this opinion may be slightly sexist, I felt only a woman
knows a woman's feelings and therefore would be more qualified to express her opinion on
such a matter. I quickly overcame this bias the further I read Branden's work. Although
he is male, he is very knowledgeable and insightful; he knows an enormous amount on this
topic, making him just as suitable to write such a book as any woman may be. While
reading this work I began to critique my own self-esteem, hoping that it will hold up to
the standards set by Branden. It is difficult to accept the fact one's self-esteem is not
perfect and will not possess all of the qualities cataloged in the work. The reader must
accept the idea that like everything else, improving one's self-esteem will take work,
dedication and time. Changing a quality as integral as self-esteem can be extremely
demanding. One is obliged to become conscious of the reality that we are not perfect, but
at the same time we must strive to purify and rid our self-esteem of all impurities; in
essence strive to achieve a powerful, confident and strong self-esteem. Branden's
foundation, from which the entire book is built, is the six pillars our self-esteem is
constructed upon. We must obtain all six pillars to indeed have a healthy and strong
self-esteem. I have found it difficult to attempt to fulfill all six aspects, yet with
some work it is possible. To live consciously I try to accept the facts of reality
without avoidance or denial. To be self-accepting I must realize the reality of my
thoughts, emotions and actions. I try to be respectful and compassionate to others and
myself and hold all relationships with great value. I am self-responsible by fully
acknowledging my choices and actions. I attempt to be self-assertive by honoring my wants
and needs without being selfish, yet at the same time knowing my feelings must come first
before serving others. Living purposefully, I set goals and then obtain those goals
through my actions. Lastly, I live with integrity; I have principles to which I remain
loyal in action. Although I, as most other Americans would tend to agree, cannot live up
to these standards daily, I do my best and acknowledge my efforts the best I can. I
learned many valuable lessons from this book, which I will truly be able to live by for
the rest of my life. Although I have heard the cliche, If one is not able to love
themselves then they cannot love another, I don't believe I ever realized the true
meaning of it until reading this book. I also learned if one is not selfish they are not
obeying his or her obligation to honor his or her own rights and needs, to act on his or
her own judgment, or to strive for happiness. I realized if one never displays jealousy
one would not be aware of any insufficiency in his or her self-esteem, or if anger
remains bottled up, ones troubled and confused emotions would never be released. Finally,
I learned it was okay to be defensive, sometimes; if one was never defensive, he or she
would not be able to protect his or her self-esteem and it may quickly become tarnished.
Throughout the work, Branden encourages one to do something different in our life. After
all, variety is the spice of life. He also persuades the reader to know his or her
boundaries, to know what he or she is and is not responsible for. He eggs the reader on
to experience intimacy and to build long lasting relationships, which will help one
develop and grow as an individual. However, one must realize that although these
strategies are helpful, none of them will be possible if one is not able to choose
happiness. No one is able to make one happy but oneself, one must choose to be happy and
seek out ways to achieve the goal of happiness. I found the many case studies in this
book are helpful to making this work a powerful tool to anyone who may be fortunate
enough to be enlightened by its message. This book kindled my ideas and was valuable by
permitting me to participate in its experiments. However, one must remember any tool can
become a weapon at any time if it is handled incorrectly. One must take the knowledge
obtained in Branden's work and analyze it extremely carefully. Be careful when applying
these concepts and ideas to one's own self-esteem and especially when applying this
knowledge to others. I found Branden's A Woman's Self-Esteem to be particularly
interesting and a very valuable work as I strive to become knowledgeable in the
astounding world of Psychology. I have been able to effectively evaluate my own
self-esteem and take the facts I gained through my reading and relate them to my own
life. As an outcome of coming across this book, I have begun to look at my life,
behavior, and thoughts of others and myself differently. I am working to be able to have
the perfect self-esteem we all strive for, to cleanse my self-esteem, and make it the
best and most valuable tool I can possibly possess. I believe with some work and time
this can be possible. I am the only one that can change my self-esteem. If I have
confidence it can be changed, then it will change. The process of changing your
self-esteem isn't the difficult part. The hardest part is admitting it has to be changed
and be willing to change it; the rest will all fall into place with time and practice.
Bibliography
a nice little bibliography