FREE ESSAY ON LESBIAN, GAY, AND BISEXUAL YOUTH PROBLEMS

LESBIAN, GAY, AND BISEXUAL YOUTH PROBLEMS

Of the many emotions a gay man or woman feel, perhaps the most powerfully pervasive is
fear. The fear of being found out is real enough, but the worry does not end there. There
also lurks the fear of being called names, being assaulted, perhaps even killed. For
adults these fears are horrible enough. For a lesbian and gay teenager, who lack
experience and life skills to cope with them, such fears can be overwhelming. Lesbian,
gay, and bisexual youth face many problems as they realize they are homosexual. Often
they don't know even one other homosexual person and feel very alone and misunderstood.
They see very few role models, no one to identify with. No one knows their secrets, no
one shares their pain. No one will stop others from name calling if the name calling is
about homosexuality. Who would dare to speak up?
No one speaks up, not in junior high and high school. College, perhaps; pride events are
more easily seen then, but in high school no one speaks up. Imagine dearly loving someone
else and having to keep it totally secret because if you don't you will be punished --
cast out of your home by your family, ostracized by your friends, perhaps losing your
job. This is the world of the lesbian and gay young person. 
The feelings homosexual youth face are only the beginning of the problem. As they
recognize that they are different and discriminated against, they lose self esteem and
become depressed. Many become suicidal and develop a feeling of extreme depression and
helplessness. Those who don't commit suicide live an adolescence of silence and
oppression, rarely being able to speak up without being struck down by peers. The U.S.
Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) Task Force on Youth Suicide issued a
report in January of 1989 concluding that lesbian and gay youth may constitute up to
thirty percent of completed suicides annually and that homosexuals of both sexes are two
to six times more likely to attempt suicide than are heterosexuals. Homosexual youth can
not speak up because of fear and misunderstanding. And when no one speaks up for them, no
one stops the pain, many teens can not handle it and commit suicide. This is the meaning
of the commonly known phrase, Silence equals death.
Not only do they face unrestricted discrimination and harassment at school, they often
face similar or worse homophobia at home. Parents, unaware of their children's sexual
orientation, often make cutting remarks about homosexual television characters, community
members, or the orientation in general. They may not even recognize their comments, but
the child (or children) is hanging on to every word, looking for at least a tiny bit of
acceptance from family. Many times they find hate instead of acceptance, sometimes to the
point of being kicked out of the house at age 14 or 15 when a homophobic parent does find
out. This leaves them with nowhere to turn.
Many of these teens are themselves suffering from the same prejudices that the rest of
their family may share. Or perhaps they've gotten past that, and started to forge a new
identity, where being gay or lesbian is something of which they can be proud.
Sometimes, what makes it so especially hard for gay teens is the very thing that protects
them, their invisibility. What African-American parent would be making jokes about black
people at the kitchen table? What Jewish family would sit around casually commenting on
how God condemns the Jews? But the lesbian, gay or bisexual teen, sitting there in their
cloak of presumed heterosexuality, laughs outwardly, or joins in expressing shared
disgust, while yet another chunk of their self-esteem has been chiseled away. 
Homosexual teens can not confide in parents, friends, or often even the church. Most
Christian churches condemn homosexuality and back up their beliefs with the Bible.
However, the major references to homosexuality in the Bible are badly mistranslated.
Nowhere does the Bible mention same-sex love negatively; it only mentions prostitution,
specifically in reference to local cults. 
More information can be found at the URL http://cent1.lancs.ac.uk/lgb/eight.html which is
a detailed retranslation of eight major Bible passages used to condemn homosexuality.
Homosexual youth often go to church with family as expected, only to hear the
condemnation of themselves echoed by the entire church. Where is the loving God the
church is supposed to be echoing? What love exists in condemning people for who they
love? Each youth sits there listening to parents, siblings, friends, and religious
leaders tear apart their feelings of love and self esteem, not speaking up out of fear
for emotional and often physical safety. 
The more discriminating the place, the more dangerous it is to speak up, but how much
more dangerous is it to let a teen live in constant depression and fear? Obviously it is
extremely dangerous, since as quoted earlier homosexual teens are up to six times more
likely to commit suicide than heterosexual teens. Not only do homosexual youth hear
discrimination and fear from home, church, and the community, they also are exposed to a
subtler form of it at school. Though it isn't obvious, the extreme lack of proper
information is a very big discriminating factor at most schools. Parents and Boards of
Education still fight to keep homosexuality-debate, discussion, even it's mere
mention-out of schools. Nurses and librarians still fail to offer resources to timid
young people with agonizing questions. In a 1993 study performed by the San Francisco
Department of Public Health, ninety percent of youth (ages twelve to twenty five) with
AIDS are gay or bisexual men, while those under age thirty comprise sixteen percent of
AIDS cases. Given the lengthy incubation period, virtually all were infected as
teenagers. Newt Gingrich has pledged to hold Congressional hearings on withdrawing
federal funds from school districts that mention gays and lesbians in curricula services,
a punitive and financially disastrous measure similar to the Robert Smith-Jesse Helms
amendment that passed the Senate in August 1994 but then expired in the committee. 
These amendments would efectivley ax the very few school based programs that teach
tolerance and foster self-acceptance. If homosexuality is mentioned at all, it is usually
skimmed over and brushed off as something that no one here actually needs to know about.
It is assumed that the entire class is heterosexual and should not need to know what
homosexuality and homophobia really are. However, according to popular statistics about
10% of the population is homosexual. In a class of 20 students, that's 2 people. If the
class size is 30, it's 3 or even 4 students. Up to 3 or 4 students must listen to how
everyone else's sexual and emotional feelings are natural, but theirs are never
mentioned. Rather than providing proper information on how homosexuals are often
discriminated against, and what homophobia means and how it hurts, the class barely even
mentions the subject if it does at all. 
If a homosexual youth is lucky enough to find their way to the Internet, they are
eventually greeted by a bit of a LBG-supportive environment. Several sites exist to help
homosexual youth realize that they are normal, lovable, and can be successful. The sites
also have many tips on coming out, especially to parents and family. However, many sites
with very useful information for homosexuals are restricted to adults (age 18). Many of
these sites do not contain sexually explicit material above what shows on prime time TV.
The information directed at adults (announcements of pride events, etc.) is also of use
to youth, and restricting the entire site to adults prevents youth from reaching useful
pieces of information. The youth also need to know about adult same sex relationships;
they have no or few role models available locally, and often the only way that they can
learn that same sex relationships can last like marriage does is to read about it over
the net. Keeping all information about adult same sex relationships away from youth
prevents them from seeing the permanent, loving aspect of what their lives could be.
As homosexual youth enter college and begin to explore the world on their own, many begin
to find the support groups that were so lacking in high school. Large universities
sometimes have official student organizations for homosexual students. Books are much
more available, and often many people are publicly out on campus. This environment begins
to help homosexuals understand themselves better. Some become very active and public, to
help pave the way for people who may be having a harder time than they have. Many
homosexual people gain the courage and independence to come out to their family,
sometimes because it is the first time their physical safety is not in danger by doing
so. 
As homosexual youth mature and begin to develop adult relationships, they must integrate
their feelings and attitudes into their normal life. They also usually overcome most of
the homophobia that they grew up with. Often a part of the integration of growing up is
that the person is able to stop focusing on their own homosexuality, becoming more open
to same sex and opposite sex relationships without thinking about whether their
homosexuality is showing or not. Homosexual people in this stage have begun to really be
able to accept themselves without feeling obsessive or afraid of issues surrounding
homosexuality. The details vary between people, but the overall change is toward self
acceptance and comfortableness within society. This change is needed for proper social
interactions, with friends and lovers. It most often happens in the late teens and early
adulthood, because a lot of self inspection and independence occur then.
Homosexual teen suicide, discrimination from all areas of life, and misunderstanding of
homosexuality, both from the heterosexual community and from the homosexual youth who
have not have access to information, would greatly reduce, or nearly disappear, if proper
education was given in the public schools to combat homophobia. Liberty is the right not
to lie.
Homosexual youth should not have to lie to hide their orientation from their parents,
friends, and the rest of the community, just to stay alive.
Even one teacher taking a stand for proper homosexual information in schools can make a
difference. That one teacher may be the role model one or several students needed to see
to make them feel worthwhile and not suicidal. Too often though a teacher who stands up
for equal rights and protection is cut down by the school administration and parents.
However, even then a student may feel better that at least one person understands them
and wants to fight for their rights. It can be the difference between total destitute and
a bit of hope. Whether the teacher gives positive information in the classroom, or stops
cutting remarks, or simply discreetly helps one or two students find a support hotline,
it can often make the difference between life and death for despairing teens.
As more teachers, administrators, social workers, and other people speak up, the deadly
silence and invisibility of homosexual youth begins to diminish. If silence equals death,
then proper communication and information is the one way to insure life.